20 something with a full life ahead of me, why do I feel that I don’t measure up?

How often have you found yourself scrolling down your newsfeed on social media and feeling Wow, what am I truly doing with my life? One second, you’re perfectly fine and with a swipe of a finger, everyone else’s feed has instantly become the standard for how you should be living. Sound familiar? Well It’s no surprise. At 20 something, we’re in the era of scroll & troll. It becomes so easy to slip into the dreadful grasp of comparison. Open Facebook and you’re literally jumping head first into a pool of…

how precious someone’s wedding is…

or how dope your friends new sports car looks…

or how curvy your friend from high school is in that photo shoot she just posted a minute ago.

[ It’s great! …up until you begin to question yourself. ]

At some time or another, we’ve all fallen victim to the comparison syndrome. Sit there and unconsciously pick yourself apart for lacking something that another person has.  You don’t want to feel like this. But I mean, how can we side step it when everyone else’s life is being thrown in our faces 24/7? We’re bombarded with relationship status updates, new life events, vacations and everything in between. Every hour on the hour its put on a virtual stage for us to Ooooo and Ahhhh at. Inevitably, sometimes as humans you end up asking the question, why not me? I get it.

 

But Boss Babe, I’m here to tell you to never allow other people and their lives to dictate how you feel about yourself. This whole phenomenon that I call social media anxiety will rob you of you happiness, energy and productivity. You’ll drain yourself emotionally, often times to view moments in the lives of people desiring approval from the masses or masking emotions that are gone unseen. Trust me, there is much more to a person than what they decide to share on Facebook and Instagram. It’s all filtered.

 [ No pun intended, on that last note. ]

Think about it though. Some of the most genuinely happy people that you and I know probably don’t even spend a lot of time consumed by social media. They’re out truly living their own lives, completely unaware of the new bag someone just bought or where their friends from high school are going for Spring Break.

Sometime last year, I had the idea of a social media fast. I had gotten so sick of keeping up with The Jones’ via social media. I took a complete break from it all. With a little upfront effort I closed the Books of Faces, I silenced my tweets, and canned Snapchat. It was becoming too much of a time waster. I often found myself almost in what I call a state of depression from wishing I had “this and that” or worrying about things that had nothing at all the do with me or my life.

After cutting a substantial amount of social media out (down to a couple scrolls up and down Fb/Ig per day) I immediately noticed a difference in my overall mood and how I felt about myself.

I was able to focus more on things that truly mattered to me. Like calling my family, catching up with friends, working on my business and setting goals for things I wanted to achieve. Now that I was without that cloud of competitive social standard, it quickly became obvious that I needed to consume social media in moderation. I continued in small manageable portions just like my food. Too much of something can truly become a bad thing, I learned social media isn’t an exception.

Social media, 20 something, unhappy, depressed,

Not only did I cut down on the amount of time spent on things like Facebook and Instagram; I also decided to cleanse my friends and following lists.

If I found a page of someone I didn’t genuinely care about or someone whose presence I felt wasn’t benefitting me, I simply hit the unfollow button and detoxed. This alone has been a huge difference maker.

Now, with that being said, I don’t want it to come off as if it’s absolutely bad to post highlights  like this online, I believe quite the opposite because we all like to post things we are proud of, right? The idea is not being ashamed of posting WINS. I encourage you to! The key to true happiness is not allowing yourself to compare what you have with that of another person. This becomes your demise, if you let it. There’s plenty of room for everyone to shine. You don’t have to envy what someone else is doing, it’s just not worth it and for several reasons:

  1. What’s for you is for you and what’s for them is for them. Be patient, your time is coming trust me.
  2. Trying to measure up to someone else is a sure fire way to depress your true self because you don’t know what their success entails & what they did to get there.

In Closing

You’re 20 something, young and vibrant, with so much in store for yourself. Never allow social media to make you feel inadequate because you may still live at home with your parents or work a certain job. Life is a journey all your own. We go through it at our own pace. We face our own unique challenges, ultimately molding us into the person we are destined to be. If you’re not where you want to be yet, just continue to gain clarity on where it is you want to go. Bust your butt til you get there and ask yourself “Wow, so where to next?”

I’m still inching through this life as well. I’m learning along the way and I do truly hope that this post helps you realize things:

There’s no right or wrong way, no certain timeline you should be following in life.

Social media has created the illusion of measuring our lives relative to the other people we follow.

Once you stop following and begin to live, you’ll start to see how truly great you already are.

– Yours Truly, LaMonica.

Always remember that your life is meaningful, no matter what others post on social media. – LaMonica

I appreciate you reading, I hope it touched you in some way! If so I’d love to hear from you, drop me a DM on Insta & let me know ^_^

LaMonica Evans

Realtor. Trainer. Blogger.

LaMonica Evans, your Drake obsessed, gym hopping, real estate slinging lifestyle blogger. She hails from the home of Saint Louis, MO. A 25 year old commercial realtor that loves everything involving elevation & self development. Believing wholeheartedly in the quote, "A woman should be two things: who & what she wants." LaMonica runs her own blog focusing on lessons in finance, building the body you want & her passion for travel. Having a true desire to help other young millennial women find their way; if you're in need of a virtual best friend to chat money matters, weight lifting or your next girls trip with, she's the one! ^_^ www.lamonicaevans.com

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