These are the types of decisions we say yes to out of politeness and a feeling of obligation. They have little purpose but superficially they look like something we must do. It comes to a point where we are spending so much time saying yes to these little things that you have no time of your own.
There have been many times where we’ve been in a situation where we’ve wanted to say no. The discussion with a family member who doesn’t support your lifestyle, the client dinners with the people you barely know, the tasks at work that do not make sense and on and on.There a number of decisions like this we all face on a daily basis and more often than not, we all say yes to them too often.
This is where Jules Schroeder host and founder of Unconventional Life, which operates the #1 ranked podcast for entrepreneurs in 2017 as well as top-tier masterminding events in exotic locations worldwide, differs with her daily decisions. Jules is an incredible seven-figure founder, Forbes columnist and visionary who is changing the way we spend our time on this planet.
Only three years ago though, Jules went through a near-death experience, a broken relationship with who she then suspected to be the love of her life and losing her seven-figure company to make it to where she is now.
Jules changed her life through this one rule and this is how Jules described this rule to me:
Learn To Say F#$@ YES!
“Every time I’m presented with a situation, opportunity or question I ask myself – Does this feel like a F@$* YES! ? and if it doesn’t then I say no to whatever I’ve been presented with.
This has been my shortcut to my success today from where I was. By allowing myself to say NO to all of the small, trivial things in my life I’ve been making more room for another F@$* YES! to come along.”
This is an incredible tool and at first glance, it seems too good to be true but Jules said the same thing.
“I had created my own 7 figure publishing house that ended up failing for a number of reasons and drove me through some of the toughest times in my life.
I went through nine months of significant loss with the company closing and this was followed by my near death experience. I had been a very analytic person up to this point in my life but I had to take a step back and reassess the way things had been going.
So after the company shutting down and recovering from almost losing my life – I spent the next 60 days understanding my intuition and learning to say yes to only the things that mattered.
It seems really simple but it allows you to get rid of so much of what is holding you back”
Creating the right framework
Jules described the framework she uses to evaluate opportunities that are presented to her. This framework will give you an insight into where your time is being spent and the quality of joy it is bringing you:
- At the end of the day, journal and list all of the things you said YES to
- Analyze your YES’s. Did you get the feeling of excitement and contentment when reading them
- The following day start becoming aware of your actions – look at the relationship of the request when someone asks something of you in comparison to how your body and mind physically feels
- Start learning how to pick up what you are resisting and your willingness to say F$%@ YES. Fine tune this every day
- After a week go back and analyze all of your data – and look for your the situations where you’ve said F$%# YES and where you’ve said yes to because you have felt obliged
- Now start using your NO’s more strategically in the situations that you felt obliged to say YES too
- Repeat this process until you have the ability to filter all requests made of you to either a F$#% YES or a HELL NO
By looking at your decisions through this lens you give yourself the ability to see what is truly making you happy and what isn’t.