You’re a garbage human being. You’re not good enough. Who is going take your business seriously? You’re lazy. Fat. Selfish. You’re a bad mother. Nobody really likes you, they just feel sorry for you. You’ll never have success. Self doubt much?
These are just a handful of the anonymous submissions I received when I recently posed this question: “What are the not so flattering things you tell yourself?”
I knew I wasn’t alone in the fact that I whisper similar things to myself on occasion. So the psychology nerd in me became curious. I posted the link to my survey on Facebook. The responses were immediate and overwhelming. And honestly, pretty heartbreaking.
Why do we speak this way to ourselves when we would never dream of uttering such words to our friends? Our mothers? Our daughters? Can you even?
First things first.
The next time you hate on yourself, try to understand why. Did something trigger you? What was it? Do your best to identify the roots of the issue and simply take note.
Try this powerful exercise I learned from a legit therapist friend.
Face yourself in a mirror. Speak out loud in conversational format and see what unravels. For example, “Do you really think you have what it takes to make it as a business owner?” Answer yourself honestly and without hesitation. Don’t think of the right or appropriate answer. Blurt it out. Keep going and see where the dialogue leads. Yes, it’s super awkward to have a conversation with yourself. But what you may uncover is worth the weirdness.
What are you into about yourself today?
There is always something. Get specific. Did you get a kick ass manicure? Did you finally approach that business prospect? Niiiiiiice! Slide those props in the next time you notice the smack talking start. Get in the habit of praising yourself like the boss babe you are.
Take small but consistent steps in changing your inner dialogue and kicking self doubt to the curb. Change won’t come overnight, but it will come.
The messages and energy you put out into the universe have a direct correlation to what happens to you. And to your business. Believe it.
Dealing with self doubt isn’t easy. Especially when you’re busy trying to build an empire. It makes it easier if you’ve got the right tribe surrounding you. Always be in the business of lifting one another up. No matter what your business is.