How To Handle Hate And Shake It Off Like A Boss

‘Shake it off’ – the Taylor Swift song that became an overnight anthem and the three words every female millennial should live their life by. Whether everyone laughed at your skirt splitting up the back as you sat down in Starbucks to enjoy your pumpkin spiced latte, the trolls are tearing you a new one in the comments of your latest YouTube video, your Tinder date is ghosting you for a change or  – worst yet – you drunk dialled your ex last night and can’t for the life of you remember what you said (but know for sure that he witnessed the ugliest cry of life on FaceTime), shake it off – all of it.

 

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As Taylor says, the players are gonna play, the haters are gonna hate, the heartbreakers are gonna break and the fakers are gonna fake, so do yourself a favour girl, turn up the music, dance around in that bedroom of yours in nothing but your underwear and a smile and shake them the hell out of your system like a really furry dog that’s just come out of a really wet lake…

 

Here are 3 things to remember when you’re tryin’a sha- sha- sha- sha- shake, shake it off, shake it off!

 

1. Hurt people hurt people

It’s easy to forget sometimes that it’s hurt people that hurt people, but that doesn’t make it any less true. As much as we know that blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any  brighter and that you can’t build yourself up by tearing someone else down, there are many people out there that don’t know that and who *will* call you fat to make themselves feel thinner or call you stupid to make themselves feel smarter ’cause it’s the only way they know how. Do your best to find a place in your heart for haters of this variety – they need more loving than you do.

 

2. No one knows you better than you know yourself

It’s all too easy to take things to heart when people are hating on you, especially if you’re a sensitive old soul like I am, but half the time the hate you receive will be online, I bet, from nameless, faceless trolls sitting in the box bedrooms of their parents’ houses who only know the things about you that you’ve chosen to share (which’ll be mostly good, I bet). Some of the hate I’ve received online is laughable. The best thing I’ve heard yet is that I’m a ‘Daddy’s girl’, when anyone who knows me at all knows that I don’t know my ‘Daddy’ from Adam… so if someone posts a comment that you’re only successful because you’re sitting on a trust fund when in reality you grew up on a council estate claiming free school dinners for the best part of your childhood or if someone calls you fat when you’ve weighed yourself that morning and you’re seven stone wet, have yourself a good old belly laugh at them – they clearly don’t know sh**.

 

3. You can’t please everyone

If there’s one thing in life I know to be true it’s that you can’t please everyone – lord knows I’ve tried! You can please some of the people all of the time and you can please all of people some of the time but what you can’t do is please all of the people all of the time so do yourself a favour and quit trying. The most important thing in life is to be true to yourself. As long as you’re doing that you’ll be happy – haters or no haters.

Vanessa McIntosh

Writer by day, blogger by night

Vanessa is a 20-something lipsticked linguist from the North East of England working on her AHRC-funded PhD at Newcastle University. She also teaches undergraduate English Language and Linguistics, and when she’s not on campus you’ll find her on her sofa with a cup of tea eyeing up the latest Morphe palette and working on her blog lipstickandlinguistics.com. Before she began doctoral study Vanessa worked as a retail makeup artist and even still she loves nothing more than making women feel good about themselves - on the inside as well as the outside. As an advocate for mental health Vanessa is working on her first monograph, a self-help guide to kicking anxiety and depression to the curb. You can expect content on bossbabe.co from Vanessa every Wednesday at 9am PST but feel free to subscribe to lipstickandlinguistics.com or follow her on Twitter and Instagram @landlblog_ for your daily dose of her rambling on… and on and on.

11 Comments
  1. I shake it off by exercising usually at Orange Theory Fitness! 🍊 I also ask myself if it was really worth all the worry???? Probably not. Then I list all things I am grateful for. 💗💋

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