We’re going to chat about goal-setting today, and why I think we need to change how we set goals. I want to tell you why I think we need to stop setting result based goals.
I know what you’re thinking…how else does one set goals?!
Over the past 2 years in business I’ve learnt a super important lesson: you can’t control the outcome of situations. It doesn’t matter how good you pitch to someone or how many people you have amazing conversations with – at the end of the day the outcome is out of your hands.
This got me thinking about other aspects of my life that I can’t really control the outcome of. One of the big ones that came to mind was weight loss. I have struggled to lose weight for as long as I can remember. I’ve always been heavier set with muscle, therefore typically weighing more than those around me.
Again, I know what you’re thinking… “Dani, of course you can control your weight loss – you just need to eat healthy and exercise”
AH HA! But that’s the thing…it doesn’t matter how healthy I eat or how much I workout – my body simply doesn’t lose weight like others and even if I drop in fat I gain in muscle, which still leads to disappointment when I step on the scale. This is because I have an emotional attachment to the specific result of losing 20 pounds.
If you’ve read my articles and watched my periscopes then you know I’m a big advocate for self-love. I encourage fighting the constant need to change or “improve” one’s self in order to fit into a societal standards. I’ve learnt to love my body the way it is, even though I probably won’t be getting a call to walk in the Victoria Secret Fashion Show any time soon. But just because I’ve accepted myself as I am, doesn’t mean I don’t care about my health. I believe consistent physical activity is super important. My biggest struggle has always been to find balance. I either go to the gym 6 days a week and eat like a rabbit, or I don’t go to the gym at all and eat like a horse. Neither of those are realistic ways of living for me.
I knew I needed to figure out a better way to set goals for myself I could attain and feel good about.
No matter what your goals are whether it’s in regards to weight, life or business, we all tend to set it result based.
For example: I want to lose 20 pounds or I want to sign 5 new clients.
Here’s why I TRULY believe we need to stop setting goals based on results. What if you DON’T achieve your goal or expected result? What if you don’t lose 20 pounds or sign 5 new clients – how is that going to make you feel? Probably pretty shitty. I know because I’ve been there. It can be extremely discouraging when you work day in and day out for a result and it doesn’t happen. Often you wonder if what you’re doing is even f*cking worth it?! Am I right, or am I right?
So here’s my proposition. What if we set goals based on our EFFORTS.
For example: if you want to lose weight, instead of saying I want to lose 20 pounds try saying “I will go to the gym 4 times a week for 4 months and stop drinking soda”. Or instead of saying you want to sign 5 clients you say “I will reach out to 200 people this month and go out every day and meet someone new”.
When you set effort based goals you can feel that sense of accomplishment no matter what happens.
So what if you didn’t lose all 20 pounds?! You got your ass up and went to the gym 4 days a week for 4 months – you probably feel strong as hell and look amazing! So what if you only signed 4 clients instead of 5, you made some amazing connections with people this month who now know about your business and brand.
In my business I learnt very quickly that effort in equals results out. I believe too many of us get tied up on the result that we can’t even feel good about the hard work we put in. This can lead to defeat and in more unfortunate cases some of us actually give up on what we wanted to achieve. Same thing happens if we don’t see results as quick as we want. We contemplate if our efforts are worth the time and energy and more often than not, we don’t continue.
I ate kale for lunch and took the stairs, what do you mean I don’t have abs yet?
So girl, if any of this sounds similar to how you feel when it comes to goals – switch it up! Set your goals based on what you can control: your efforts. See how this changes your mindset and how you start feeling more accomplished and motivated. Personally, when I feel accomplished and like I’m killing it, it makes me want to KEEP working and KEEP killing it. Always allow yourself to reap the rewards of a hard day’s work, even if it didn’t pan out exactly how you wanted. Learn to love the crazy process.