Rise Upward After Divorce And Light The Fire Within

Amazing women are all around you. The take charge type who live life their way.  Dressed to kill they are are strong, independent, intelligent and creative.  Challenge is their middle name and no isn’t in their vocabulary. They are self motivated, self assured and they’ve got it together.  They rise upward, they are business savvy and ooze power. You look at them you wonder how they do it and why you got so stuck along the way? You watch them, read about them and admire them but lets be honest, you’re not one of them.

Instead you sit at your desk in your flannel pyjamas shuffling through papers.  You’re trying to make sense of the finances and wondering how to make ends meet.  You look out the window and nothing has changed.  Well nothing out there anyway.  The breeze blows gently outside as a hurricane thunders through your soul.  Depleted, stressed about life, worried about your children and bogged down with guilt, the road ahead isn’t looking great.  No you’re not terminally ill, you just got divorced.

My marriage of twenty one years dissolved and I blamed myself for the destruction of my family.   Then I realised that I had been a mum and a wife for so long that I had no idea who I was.  It took time for me to dive into myself and find the hidden talents within.   They were there, as they are in you, but I had to swim pretty deep to find them. When my marriage ended however, opportunity knocked and I wasn’t going to waste it.  My new quest was to find my hidden talents and rise upward.   I left behind my inner worrier and found my inner warrior.  I encourage you to do the same.

Divorce is a bit like going through the wash cycle.  You get tossed about  and come out of it a bit disoriented, feeling slightly weighed down and a bit worse for worse for wear.  But on the up side you also come out feeling clean and new.  With a bit of soul-searching it’s not long before clean and new turns into new adventures and new beginnings.  This new world of yours may seem daunting but if you begin with the two simple steps below you could find yourself on the way to a whole new way of life and maybe even a brand new business.  Now that’s exciting!

To Rise Upward Do This

1). A get to know yourself session seems trivial but if you have been lost for some time it’s essential.  Grab your pen and paper .  For a few minutes write down all the things you love to do.  Is it listening to music, swimming naked, sipping cocktails (some of my personal favorites), or something else?  Let it all go, write wildly, let it out.   You’ve been in a marriage that didn’t make you happy , Think of everything you ever wanted to do and write that damn list!  Let anything flow, especially if it’s crazy and wild.  This is an empowering moment.  Revel in it my friends.

If you find it hard buy a small notebook. Put it in your pocket and every time you come across something you like pull out your pocket pal and write away.  You will have a list in no time.  From little ideas come big opportunities .  At best you will be kicking off in the business world and at worst you will learn a lot about yourself.  It will help you create, define and redefine your passions.  Now that is a win win.

2). What have you done well?  It’s time to shine.  Write it down, all of it.  From the creativity aspect right down to the practical. Too many woman overlook their talents and fail see what they bring to the table.  They forget that running a household develops some much-needed business skills that can be added to work experience you have had.    Have you ever juggled kids, school, sports, work and life?  Then you have great time management skills.  How about the development of and adhering  to a budget?  Well look at that, you possess the financial know how to run a business. If you have had to organise your home, you’re great at minimising and de-cluttering.  Potential lies in every experience, it’s all about the interpretation.   You need to write those things down.  Use them to kick off ideas for a wonderful business venture.

To Rise Upward Think Like This

Let go of the guilt. Take it from experience, there is nothing good to gain from bogging yourself down with guilt.  The relationship was  a two-way street.  No matter who ended it, there were issues there if it is finished.  Some people are not sure what the issues were and others hold onto the anger it caused them.  It is futile.  Let go of the baggage associated with the relationship and take away fifty per cent of the blame.  That’s all.  Learn from your experience and if you really loved that person once then be thankful you had those moments.  If you had children then there is a positive outcome.  If you let the guilt fall away you open yourself up to a new life with some exciting experiences.  Do that instead.

The transition is hard, I get it.  However it also comes with a new set of rules you can make up as you go along.  Divorce is a game changer and it’s time to get into the driver’s seat.  There is no time like the present to change an unhappy situation and turn it around to something truly inspiring.  If anything is worth that fight it’s you.  So get up from that desk, shake off the worry so you may find your inner warrior.  It might take a little time but the steps above are great start.  Use them, ponder over them and take time with them.  They might just ignite a passion you never knew you had and start you on the path to greatness.  Rise upward ladies and fulfil those dreams.

Julie Donetta



She's at the back of the race, she's struggling but she won't stop trying. I watch her and my heart beats the drums of triumph. I don't know her but I'm proud, I see she's giving it all she's got. I wait for her, let her catch up, encourage her. 'Lets do this together' I say because I know there is strength in numbers. I believe in people, in their ability to rise above and triumph. I will do all I can to help move people toward their potential.

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