Solid Relationship Foundations For Love

Building solid relationship foundations is not rocket science or is it? With all the heartbreak and player songs, you would think love is last on the list.  The queen or king of today might be “too busy building empires” and “ain’t nobody got time for that.”  Actually, you may be doing it wrong.

Consider this, love should be the decoration in the relationship house, not the house itself.  Honestly, we can love a pair of shoes until the heel breaks, then what?  You might throw it to the side until it can be fixed or discard it all together.

So where do you begin building solid relationship foundations?

You build the house’s foundation first and then you can decorate it with love! Trust, respect, friendship and support are some of the foundations you need.  All of them come before love.

The First Foundation Is TRUST!

Trust by definition means that the words and actions of the other person is reliable and true to what you believe them to be, do and say. You are a man or woman of your word and it is not cliche. It is the difference between a solid relationship or not so solid relationship.

The Second Foundation Is RESPECT!

Aretha said it best R-E-S-P-E-C-T!  Respect has different meanings to different people.  You must find out what it means to them.  It boils down to one thing, is that person considerate of your feelings?  Think about how you are treated and talked to if you aren’t sure.  If you feel like a child being scolded when you have a disagreement, that is not respect.

The Third Foundation Is FRIENDSHIP!

You should be FRIENDS first.  That means you like each other and want to spend time with each other.  You laugh together and have those inside jokes, just like friends do.  You guys should be pretty close to BFFs especially if you are thinking about long term potential.  Who wants to go to bed with their worst enemy?

The Fourth Foundation And Probably One Of The Most Important Is SUPPORT!

You should have each other’s back, front, and side.  Support comes in and saves the day when the day feels like it won’t end.  The person who you are in a relationship doesn’t have to understand the problem.  They should be encouraging. Above all they should be your loudest cheerleader.

Above all, building solid relationship foundations must be a priority and must go BOTH ways.  Look at some of the happiest and saddest couples you know.  The ones who are happy, no doubt have found and practice the foundations, the others…well they were in love.  WERE!  So stop trying to shop and decorate without building the foundation first!


Valencia Griffin-Wallace is an international speaker, best selling author and mentor. Her passion and mission in life is to teach women how to live an unapologetic lifestyle by building confidence in order to achieve goals. She is the CEO and founder of Define U, LLC which houses Define U Movement, Define U Radio, and Define U Live ( She believes in challenging herself and others to be the best queen they can be, unapologetically of course.

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