Think about it. When was the last time you truly thought about yourself and said: “I like me, I’m good enough and doing ok”? We’ve become programmed as a society to indulge in self-criticism. But does anyone really believe that will get them anywhere? There is something utterly mesmerizing about someone who just let’s go and thinks enough now, enough of the self-hate, I want to change. Big change doesn’t happen overnight. It is the small steps that you take, that create the monumental outcomes in your life.
After going through the shock of getting divorced, becoming a single mum to a pre-schooler, whilst still getting over the physical and emotional scars of Hyperemesis Gravidarum (a soul-destroying pregnancy illness), I have reached a place where I think I’m doing ok, pretty darn ok. But, that’s where there’s danger, that the balance can tip. I’m not one to sit around and go through the motions. I always have an evolving idea of how I want my life to be, after all, isn’t that the point of living? It is then though, that one little word creeps in and can change everything…
Fear (And How To Use It To Your Advantage)
So many of our dreams and goals are stopped from coming to fruition because of fear, and not because it poses a real physical risk. Fear has the ability to sabotage our mindset instantly or eat away at us over time. Which makes me wonder, why do we experience fear in the first place?
Fear is there to protect us. It is a condition created by ourselves to keep us safe. In the modern day context, we too often forget the benefits that fear can give us. Fear can challenge us, help us to evaluate our circumstances, and from there spark new desires and goals. Embracing fear and using it as a reminder that the subject is important to us, is a very enlightening way to amaze ourselves.
So What’s Holding You Back?
Think of the number one thing that you are trying to achieve, in any area of your life, but you feel that fear is really holding you back. Now, just for a moment, take the fear out of the equation. Visualize yourself achieving that goal. Really feel it. Imagine how you would breathe differently, how you would stand in that situation, really look at your physicality. Now start to visualise other factors; how would you feel emotionally, what would change about your relationships with your loved ones?
The Key Is To Separate The Two; The Goal And The Fear.
Don’t be afraid of fear. Don’t pretend it doesn’t exist and that your concerns don’t exist. Separate the goal and the fear and use the fear as a catalyst. Rather than saying “I’ve always wanted to start my own business, but I can’t because I have my family to feed, and I don’t want my friends to look down on me if I fail”, instead compartmentalize them. “I really want to start my own business because of x-y-z reasons” and the fear side “I may not have enough money, I may make a few mistakes, I may have to find my feet at first”.
Now use the fear as a catalyst- I want to have my own business and I want to earn enough to feed my family. So I’m going to ensure I have a back-up plan and put systems in place. I’ll focus more of my time and energy into succeeding than looking at ‘what-if negatives’.
Embrace the fear. Enjoy continuous self-evolving and you’ll be sure to amaze yourself with the results.