It’s really very interesting. In the past year I’ve been getting approached by people I went to high school with who say to me “Wow! You are killing it! You look so great!” In the beginning I was like well…this is weird. All this attention for me? Really? I began to take a lot of time to reflect on exactly what got me to this point in my life. What had made me successful?
I wish there was a simple answer to being successful that I could hand you on a silver platter, but there isn’t.
What’s incredible to me is if you had known me 3 years ago, you probably wouldn’t even recognize me. I was so insecure and full of self-doubt. Boys always fell for my friends. I wasn’t the life of the party. I always wished I could be. A lot of the time it felt like no one really paid attention to me and I was working a normal 9-5 job. Just your average girl (maybe even below average).
I always had lots of friends but no one ever really took a double take when it came to me romantically.
For years I contemplated what was wrong with me. Was it my weight? My nose? My ankles (I’m serious, I used to border not going out because my ankles looked big). All my friends constantly had boyfriends or guys on the go. There were many nights I went home from the bar, alone, and cried myself to sleep because all my friends went home with their boyfriends. There were many hangouts where I would be the third or fifth wheel. I just didn’t get it. I knew I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the city, but I wasn’t a monster or a mean person.
“What is SO bad about me?” I would ask myself crying in my bed.
But now I get it…
Everyone has their own journey and path.
All those years I thought I was five steps behind because guys didn’t like me and I wasn’t the prettiest girl in the group. All those years I thought something was wrong with me because I was on my own. The truth is, I wasn’t five steps behind. In fact, I ended up being 10 steps AHEAD.
Being on my own for so long did something to me. It created strength and tenacity. It created the drive and determination to succeed to the best of my abilities. I developed such a strong sense of who I was as a person because of it.
Most of those popular girls that always had the boyfriends and seemed to have it all going on, are now REALLY struggling to find themselves. They don’t know how to be alone, and they don’t know what they want out of life.
I truly believe what made me successful is the fact that I learnt to be alone and get my shit together. I never expected to marry rich and coast through life. At one point I had come to the absolute conclusion that I was NEVER getting married and I was going to adopt a child and make my own money and do my own thing.
I’m a bit stubborn, can you tell?
Although I am now happily engaged to the most incredible man, I still know that if at the end of the day something happened and we were no longer together, I would be just fine. Why? Because I can handle my own. My strong belief in myself and abilities has not only increased success in a business aspect, but in my relationships as well. I wake up every morning and choose to spend my life with my fiance because I truly want to. Not because he pays my bills.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
So, if you’re the girl that gets passed up at parties, doesn’t get the text back and feels like the shadow of the people around you, please stop worrying. Use this time to get to know yourself. What do you want to accomplish? Who is the kind of person you want to be? How are you going to take care of yourself? I know it’s hard, I know it sucks. But one day you’ll look back on these days and be grateful because they made you the incredible, unstoppable and beautiful woman you are.
Keep hustling and trust the process.